Information is everywhere! From TV to social media to headlines delivered directly to our phones to conversations overheard, we are inundated with information. Our brains were not created with the capacity to handle the amount of information available to us in modern times.
I also find myself seeing/hearing lots of commentary on who those who appear to remain publicly silent around current issues, and speculation of their reasons for doing so. This recently came up in a discussion with some other mental health providers, and I want to explore it further in this post.
Some Background
In the past 6 months alone, I have seen/heard information regarding many unsettling things. News of racism, from the history of lynchings in my home county to the more recent “pretend slave auction” at my former elementary school to more systemic issues, has been something I’m paying attention to. There is a war in Ukraine. The recent decisions in the Supreme Court have brought the attack on women’s rights to the forefront of news, and led to questioning how far the removal of rights could go. Cases of COVID-19 are still ongoing 2.5 years after “two weeks to slow the curve.”
As a therapist who works from a framework of health as a social justice issue and who works with many folks who are deconstructing their faith, the recent concerns that have been brough up within these areas have also been on my radar. Yet, I have mostly stayed silent online, offering only a few “likes” or “shares”, or a brief comment. I have had a few conversations in my personal life about the above issues, but not in-depth.
Why Silence?
I also see the posts to the effect of “people hear your silence” or “your silence speaks volumes” and implying that the choice to not speak out loudly about an issue equates not being concerned about the issue and/or not supporting the people most affected. I can’t tell you all the reasons that folks are silent, and I acknowledge that some are silent because they don’t know or care about certain issues. However, I can speak to some of the reasons for my silence, and they may resonate with you as well.
To Shift the Spotlight
Sometimes I choose silence because I am not the person who can best speak to an issue. I don’t want to take up space and bandwidth where someone who has more knowledge or more lived experience can bring their voice to the proverbial table. For example, I cannot speak to the lived experience of the Black children who attended my elementary school in the past, or who were students when the “pretend slave auction” happened. I can amplify some of the voices of those folks online, while also acknowledging the ways I recognize racist actions from then and now.
No Bandwidth for Words
Other times I do not have the emotional or mental bandwidth to fully engage a topic and offer words that add to the noise. In fact, there are times when I have to turn down (or even off) the noise of news and updated information because my nervous system needs a break. I do not want to add my words/thoughts to the cacophony if I do not believe they add something of value.
Focusing On Other Ways to Make Change
There are also times when I feel that posting online is simply adding another voice to the void, yet not making any real change. It reminds me of times in the past when folks’ have posted their bra color online in support of breast cancer research – how does that actually support ending breast cancer? We humans do not have the capacity to focus all our attention on every injustice we see; however, we do have the power to chip away at injustices in our own corner of the world. I may not be posting or protesting loudly because I’m focusing on having conversations with folks that challenge their viewpoints or supporting clients in navigating their struggles. Like the story of the child who throws starfish back into the ocean one by one so they can live, my change-making may not be loud, but I hope it “made a difference for that one.”
Fear of Attack
Have you seen how cruel people can be behind a screen? I have, and it scares me! I have seen horrible comments about and toward people who shared their thoughts. I have seen people post death wishes and know of situations where real-life security was threatened. I have even seen therapists in online forums become quite vile toward one another, leaving no room for another’s humanity or the possibility of growth when presented with new information. I do not want to be on the receiving end of virtual or real attack, and, if I’m being honest, that fear sometimes keeps me silent.
What About You?
Have you found yourself being silent about an issue that truly matters to you? Have you wondered why someone else was silent about an issue? Perhaps you resonate with some of my own reasons, or have others of your own.
If you’re looking for a safe place to process things, you may benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional like myself. I will not tell you what to believe and I will work with you to create a space where you can verbalize your thoughts and work through some of the reasons you may find yourself being silent when you really want to speak. I invite you to take a look around my website to learn more about me and how I approach my work with individuals, and to contact me if you’d like to explore the possibility of us working together.
Michelle F. Moseley is a licensed clinical mental health counselor providing telehealth services in the state of North Carolina. She specializes in providing support for folks who struggle with feelings of not being enough, which often stem from messages of being “too much.” She works from a trauma-informed perspective, and believes that ALL people deserve respect, compassion, and to feel heard. Learn more about Michelle by visiting www.MichelleFMoseley.com or following her on Instagram – @therapy_with_michelle