At least 5 major holidays fall between mid-November and mid-January.  Is it the most wonderful time of the year?  Or the most stressful? 

 

Regardless of what or how you may celebrate, stress can come from all angles.  Expectations on your time and/or budget.  Differences in how you would prefer to celebrate versus what your family or friends think is best.  For some, this time of year is filled with sadness or grief, which can be made more difficult due to being around so many reminders of others celebrating. 

 

How can you manage some of the stress of the holiday season? 

 

 

Basic Coping Skills for Stress

Don’t forget the coping skills you may already use for handling stress.  Just because the stress of the holiday season may look a bit different doesn’t always mean your coping has to. 

 

Practice gratitude.  Take some time each day to focus on the aspects of your life for which you’re thankful.  Often, our brain is focused on danger or concerns because it’s doing its job to help us survive, but intentionally focusing on the good things in life can reduce your overall feelings of stress.  You may want to keep a journal of sorts to list out a few things you’re grateful for each day, or spend the last few minutes before sleep reflecting on your gratitude. 

 

Pleasant activities.  One of the most effective ways to alleviate stress and manage the anxiety that may come along in life is to engage in pleasant activities.  Now, this can look different for everyone.  Some folks may love going for an early morning run while others may find a warm bath or time to read a good book more enjoyable.  The focus is not so much on what you do, but on the fact that you enjoy it! 

 

Get outside.  The weather around the holiday season can be cold and wet, depending on your location.  In North Carolina, we have less sunlight each day and the sun sets earlier.  These conditions can make it hard to want to get outside.  But, research has shown that fresh air and sunshine, even just a small amount per day, has benefits for both our physical and mental health.  Sometimes that brief change of scenery, a few deep breaths of cool (or cold, depending on your location) air, or a chance to move your body can change your whole perspective. 

 

Handling the Holidays

Boundaries.  How do you want to celebrate, or not celebrate, the holidays?  What aspects are important to you, and what would you prefer to forego?  Are you comfortable staying at the home of family members or friends, or would some other sleeping arrangement work best for you?  Ask yourself questions like this before committing to any holiday plans.  Determine your own boundaries and preferences for the holiday season.  And remember, you are responsible for communicating your boundaries; you are not responsible for how others react to those boundaries. 

 

Communication.  Once you’ve determined your own preferences for managing the holidays, communicate them clearly.  This may include being clear about your plans for arrival/departure or where you’ll be staying.  You may need to communicate preferences regarding food or scheduling of events.  Being clear about your needs, plans, and preferences early on can eliminate some of your stress.

 

Respect.  We all have different needs and expectations.  Some folks can attend 5 different social events in a weekend and are still ready to party; other people may find their energy level is more suited to a quiet evening with a small group and no additional events for the next few days.  Perhaps you’re someone who can easily adjust your schedule or routine, while others may depend on the regularity of routine.  And, as we’re in the midst of our second holiday season dealing with COVID-19, it’s important to remember that people have different needs and comfort levels regarding events and gathering with others.  You can respect yourself by clearly communicating your boundaries, and respect others by listening to their needs and preferences as well. 

 

New traditions.  If the older traditions you remember are not possible anymore, or if you just don’t want to continue them, relieve some stress by creating your own new traditions!  Give yourself the freedom to change up your celebration, or to not celebrate at all.  If time with family stresses you out, you might want to spend more time with friends.  Try new foods.  Learn about different holidays.  By focusing on removing the pressure to “live up to….”, you can alleviate some of the stress of this time of year and maybe even find peace as we send out the old year and welcome the new. 

 

Here’s wishing you the best in managing your stress during the holiday season.  If you find that you need a bit more support in managing stress to this time of year (or any other time), I encourage you to connect with a licensed mental health professional who can assist you with your specific concerns. 

 

 

Michelle F. Moseley is a licensed clinical mental health counselor providing telehealth services in the state of North Carolina.  She specializes in providing support for folks who struggle with feeling they are “too much”, yet worry they are not enough.  She works from a trauma-informed perspective, and believes that ALL people deserve respect, compassion, and to feel heard.  Learn more about Michelle by visiting www.MichelleFMoseley.com or following her on Instagram – @therapy_with_michelle