I recently went on a short vacation to Niagara Falls. Seeing the natural beauty and the powerful force of the water was soothing to my nervous system. It was a much-needed break, and I am thankful to have the privilege of escaping the day-to-day world for a bit.
Yet, weight stigma wasn’t something I could escape. Even on vacation.
What is Weight Stigma?
Weight stigma is the discriminatory words, actions, and ideologies targeted toward folks based on the size and/or shape of their body.
Weight stigma can show up in a variety of ways, including:
- Direct comments about someone’s size/shape and/or food choices.
- Not inviting a larger-bodied person to participate in an activity based on the assumption that they are lazy or unable to move their body.
- Assuming that fat* people are unintelligent or incapable.
*A note about “fat” – I use this term as a neutral descriptor. Common words used to refer to those of us in larger bodies, such as o*ese and o*erweight, come from the medicalized view of our bodies as problems to be fixed. The term “fat” is a factual descriptor of my body, and a word I have chosen to take back and use to describe larger bodies.
Weight Stigma on Vacation
My recent vacation included transportation via bus. A group of about 50 people came together to ride a bus northward from NC to visit both the US and Canadian sides of Niagara Falls. Along the way, there were some other scenic stops, a few meals, and a few nights in hotels.
One evening, the bus stopped at around 5:30pm in an area with 3-4 various restaurants for us to choose from to have a meal. We were given a specific time to be back at the bus and folks on the trip went their separate ways to get their food of choice.
My traveling companion and I finished our meal and got back to the bus a few minutes early, so we went ahead and got comfortable in our seats near the front. Others were slowly trickling onto the bus as they finished their meals, and our next stop was going to be our hotel for the evening.
One of the women on the trip came onto the bus carrying a bag with what appeared to be a couple of carryout containers from one of the nearby restaurants. Keep in mind that this is an adult woman, carrying something that is completely legal and is allowed on the bus, which she presumably paid for with her own money.
The bus driver, who was standing by the entryway, commented, “You can’t be eating that late at night. You have to stop eating at 7pm. That’s how you’ll lose the weight.”
This woman did not ask for his input. She had not given him any indication she desired to lose weight. He is a bus driver, not a medical professional.
You could tell from the look of shock on her face that she was taken aback by the interaction. Yet, he continued to tell this adult individual when and what she should eat. He even drew others into the conversation, all focused on this woman’s body and food choices.
Her expression quickly turned to one of shame and she turned away to try to exit the interaction as quickly as possible. She even felt the need to provide a reason for her food choices, stating, “I work night shift and need to stay as close to my schedule as possible.”
The bus driver continued to discuss this woman’s food choices with those sitting near the front, and to spew diet rhetoric about how we all should eat. Weight stigma had reared its ugly head, even on vacation!
Responding to Weight Stigma
I wish I could say that I spoke up during this interaction, but I was so taken aback that it was happening that it took a few minutes for my brain to catch up.
I wish I had said something like, “Maybe we let adults eat what and when feels best for them, and we concentrate on taking care of our own selves.”
Despite the fact that I have been doing my own work for more than a decade to dismantle the impacts of weight stigma and diet culture in my life, I was still left speechless in this moment. This interaction is just one example of how weight stigma is EVERYWHERE. It is so ingrained in our culture that folks have judgments and make comments without any pause to consider the factual basis or whether their input is desired/needed.
The journey of learning to recognize weight stigma and figuring out ways to call others in to learn is a winding road. Recognizing opportunities to advocate for ourselves and others may be a first goal in moving toward a hoped-for future that is free of weight stigma.
Learn More
This post is part one of a 2-part series on the topic of weight stigma. I hope you’ll check out the next post on the topic as well.
Part of my work as a licensed mental health counselor is helping folks unpack the narratives we have been fed by culture about what makes a body worthy and acceptable. Through Individual therapy, educational groups, and workshops, I support folks who want to learn a different way to relate to their body and food. I practice from a weight-inclusive approach, meaning that my clients and I work together to determine how they want to experience abundance and body connection without any focus on weight or numbers. If you’re interested in this approach, I invite you to learn more on my website. If you’re interested in starting therapy (for folks in NC) or in being informed of future educational opportunities (not location specific), please let me know via this contact form.
Michelle F. Moseley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NC. She believes ALL people deserve respect, compassion, and access to mental and physical healthcare. Michelle specializes in working with survivors of religious trauma and with those who have body image concerns, finding there is frequent overlap in these areas. You can learn more about Michelle by visiting her website at MichelleFMoseley.com or following her on Instagram – @therapy_with_michelle
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