April is officially recognized as Autism Awareness Month. However, many Autistic folks note that awareness is not enough – acceptance and action are also important.
I’m Michelle F. Moseley, a licensed mental health counselor and a late-identified Autistic person. My own story includes aspects of increasing awareness of Autism, acceptance of my own Autistic neurotype (or brain), and beginning to take action to help more folks being informed about Autism.
Let me share an experience I had a few months ago where I saw Autism awareness, acceptance, and action in real life.
Setting the Stage
I was having an early dinner at a small-town diner, the kind where the servers know the regulars and the food is reminiscent of what grandma used to make. It’s not unusual for folks to be greeted by name when they enter or to be asked if they want their “usual.”
My dining companion and I were in the middle of our meal and catching up on life when a young man walked into the door – we’ll call him Aaron (not his real name). Now, this is a small-town diner and I happen to know that this young man is Autistic. When he came through the door, the distress on his face was obvious. He made a bit of a gasping sound and froze, with his arms outstretched, in the doorway.
Why was he distressed? Aaron comes into this diner regularly and he always sits at a specific seat at a certain table. Like many Autistic folks, Aaron thrives on predictability and can become overwhelmed when things don’t go as planned or expected.
Aaron entered the diner to find someone sitting in his preferred chair at his specific table, and his brain got overloaded with uncertainty about what to do next. The immediate pause in the doorway and the sound that came out was Aaron’s brain and body showing his distress.
What happened next?
Awareness
The employees who were near the front entrance know Aaron. They saw him come in the doorway. They were aware that his preferred seat was currently occupied and they recognized his distressed response.
One of the servers calmly said, “Hi Aaron, do you want to sit over here for a minute?” as she gestured to a nearby chair and added, “I’ll bring you a cup of water.” Aaron’s relief was visible. This server was aware of Aaron and was able to support him in figuring out the next step in an unexpected turn of events.
Acceptance
Aaron wasn’t treated as broken or incapable. He was accepted as someone who was having a response to something he found distressing. The servers welcomed him into the restaurant and gave him an option to help relieve the distress.
The other diners accepted that Aaron needed some support and that the server was meeting that need. Aaron was able to sit down for a moment, drink a few sips of water, and wait for his preferred seat to be available. As he was able to regulate his brain and body, Aaron began greeting those who walked by and was met with smiles, waves, and brief conversation.
Action
The server who interacted with Aaron was able to take action in a way that fit her role as an employee and didn’t take away Aaron’s autonomy in making a decision. She offered him an option to sit in a nearby chair and have some water. Her actions indicated that he was a valued customer (and person) who deserved compassion and choices.
Others who interacted with Aaron – from the person who chatted with Aaron while he waited for his preferred chair to the individual who happily agreed to watch Aaron’s comfort items while Aaron used the restroom – took action to make it clear that Aaron is deserving of respect and compassion.
Sometimes action looks like big gestures that many people see – protests, public speaking, advocating for acceptance on a national or international level. Sometimes action looks like the small things we can do every day – noticing someone’s distress, leading our interactions with compassion and curiosity, making efforts to learn more about Autism from knowledgeable sources and Autistic voices.
What’s Next?
Autism Month is just getting started. How can you increase your own awareness, acceptance, and action?
Listen to the voices of actually Autistic people, and the allies of those Autistic folks who may not be able to speak for themselves. Some helpful sources of information include:
If you are Autistic, or wondering if you might be, seek out neurodiversity-affirming support. This may include neuro-affirming communities, support professionals who help with specific areas of life, or licensed mental health support.
If you are an adult (18+) who is located in North Carolina, I provide both Neurodivergent-Affirming ADHD/Autism Assessments and Neuro-Affirming Counseling Services. I would be happy to schedule a free, virtual consultation to see if we might be a good fit for working together.
Michelle F. Moseley (she/her) is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in NC (#12491). She believes ALL people deserve respect, compassion, and access to mental and physical healthcare. Michelle specializes in working with survivors of religious trauma, and with those who have body image concerns, finding there is frequent overlap in these areas. She also frequently supports late-identified neurodivergent individuals as they navigate the grief and relief of a new understanding of self. You can learn more about Michelle by visiting her website at MichelleFMoseley.com or following her on Instagram – @therapy_with_michelle
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